


Thrift

by cancellable



Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: Dubious Consent, Gruesome gorey thoughts by Noel but nothing tangible, I swear it's not vore, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kinda Dark, M/M, Masturbation, Nothing too explicit, Sexual Content, Sibling Incest, Violent Thoughts, it's mostly all in Noel's head, tho Noel DOES talk about cannibalism in his own head so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29320542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cancellable/pseuds/cancellable
Summary: Part of him thinks that if he could just love Liam enough, everything would be okay.The rest of him knows that 'enough' is not something either of them are capable of feeling.
Relationships: Liam Gallagher/Noel Gallagher
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Thrift

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello, um, so I haven't written in many years, and I explicitly haven't written Gallaghercest in over a decade. But these bastards got back into my brain and here we are. 
> 
> IMPORTANT: The underage sexual references are not explicit, but exist. This does make allusions to Noel not being quite sure if Liam was ever in a position to consent. It makes an allusion to him thinking maybe **that** was part of the appeal for him. This is par for the course for this pairing, but if this is triggering, please tread with care.
> 
> There is no hot sex here, just mild miserable references to sex. This is mostly inner turmoil from Noel's POV. Break-up feelings and that. I just... needed to put these feelings somewhere. I love what you guys have done with the place, I hope to post more in the future :) xx

It never happens, but when it happens, it happens at fuck o'clock, after he's already been sleeping.

See, he doesn't think about Liam. He's had a great life without him. He's fit, he's rich, he makes the music he feels like, when he feels like it. He can even convince himself more often than not that he's a good person, a better person than the rest - just like the rich folks that are allowed to hang out with him (unlike Liam).

But still, sometimes it happens. And he sighs deeply and gets out of bed, making sure Sara doesn't stir awake before heading straight for the toilet.

It's an inconvenience, is what it is. Muscle memory. He abused his body at ungodly hours for so long that it still expects it. Like the first early morning piss, or something. He's pretty sure he can get rid of it if he tries, but he hasn't had time to try. Nevermind that he's had 12 years of domesticity to get used to normal human hours. Nevermind that he's actually only been having these... _episodes_ for the past 3 years.

He isn't even going to try to pretend that it's because he's sex deprived and that fucking his wife more often would help. He's had well over 30 years to figure out that no amount of sex and love and drugs and success and distance made any difference when it came to _that_.

It starts in his dreams. Sort of. It doesn't feel like a dream, though. Maybe it's the new mattress, or how the light hits from the curtain, or fuck knows - but now and then, he hears the kid's voice calling his name, and he actually feels his bed dip and it's like he's 22 again and his soul is torn between pushing the kid off his bed and pulling him closer. He jolts awake and he's hard and he's nauseous, and incredibly, absolutely fucking awake. And he hasn't _really_ touched his brother in over a decade.

So he does this. He sighs deeply once again, locks the door behind him and pulls his dick out.

When it started he used to resist. He was never that good at pretending, no matter how much he pretended he was, but after the third or fourth time where he just waited around until he lost his erection and suddenly it was time to wake up, he figured he had to be pragmatic.

He tries to keep his thoughts simple. He pictures young Liam (not too young, not as young as when they started because that's a whole other hornet's nest), and he wanks as steady and effectively as he can manage.

It's hard though. Not thinking about all the stuff _around_ Liam when he does allow himself to think of him. Because the boy was pretty. The prettiest creature he has ever laid eyes on. Supernaturally so. But what they did was never _just_ because Liam was pretty, no matter how often he tried to make himself (and Liam) believe it was.

It hurts. He hates to admit it because his whole fucking brand is pretending nothing actually does. His whole world is built on pretending that while Liam doesn't know how to suffer, he does - he knows how to deal with pain and it doesn't even register as such. A stoic, rational hero that people can look up to, unlike his little brother, the prickly, needy waif. Sobbing left and right. Too old for that. Making a big show over any little thing that ever hurt. 

Noel won't admit that he knows exactly how much things actually have to hurt for Liam to let it show. He won't even entertain the thought that Liam can actually take far more pain than he does, although he knows it's true. He knows, because he made sure that would be true. He was all heart and Noel liked to pretend he was all brain. What the fuck can you do with a heart if not break it? 

He cringes. That's done, then. It's gonna be one of those. When he's lucky he can focus on a neat little visual of his dick moving in and out of Liam, the boy with his legs spread, looking up at him like he's God himself. An adoration so absolute, and Liam looking so beautiful that it tips him over the edge in a time so short that it would be embarrassing if it weren't a relief... but sometimes it's like this. He thinks about hurting, and therefore, he inevitably thinks of hurting Liam. 

And it's a slideshow, right? Punching him and then pushing him to his knees. Giving him a black eye and then bending him over he nearest surface without nearly enough lube. All the times he bit him hard enough to draw blood. The times he used both hands to choke him as he fucked him (and Liam let him). 

It's still so _violent_. The desire he has for Liam has never been kind. Now, if he had been a good man, if he had been well adjusted and Liam wasn't his brother, and things were different... that urge to _consume_ him would be different. He figures he'd lick his entire body, he'd swallow his come. He'd ask Liam to fill him up and he'd cling to him for dear life until the morning light. But as it is? He only knows how to destroy. Burn it all down and rip it to pieces so there's nothing left. He wants to claw him until his insides lay raw and torn. He wants to fucking rip him apart like a feral beast, drink his blood and chew up his bones, until nothing is left and there's no way they can be apart again. He wants to eat him and absorb his power... and were he not pulling on his dick so frantically right now he'd take a moment to consider what it all means, but all he sees is Liam spread underneath him, bruised, and bloody, and crying and that's exactly what he'd deserve.

He shudders. He's never felt at ease knowing that punishing Liam was the only way he ever knew to call him _mine_. But it is what it is. 

Part of him thinks that if he could just love Liam enough, everything would be okay. The rest of him knows that 'enough' is not something either of them are capable of feeling. 

Now, that's one more layer to it all he doesn't need to think about - he flicks his wrist, hoping to speed this along somewhat, but he's not getting there. _'Withholding prick!'_ he hears Liam in his memories, and it makes him shiver. For all he characterized Liam as a bottomless pit of need, it was the opposite. He was an endless fountain of rage and love and beauty, he was spilling everywhere, all the time, too busy giving to ever receive. It was never about what Noel wouldn't give him. It was about all the things Noel refused to take. It was about the love spilled, soaking the dirt around his feet. Not the times Noel wouldn't say _'I love you'_ , but the times he would not accept that Liam did. 

But fuck, what was he supposed to do? Liam had been trying to give him _too much_ since he was 13. And he tried to stop him. And he managed to. For a few years at least. He pushed him away - time and time and time again - but by the time he was 16, there was no going back. He frowns. He wonders about that a lot. Like maybe it _was_ his fault, like maybe he was pretending not to want it while he did. Like maybe he'd made Liam that way. Molded and shaped him into this neverending giving want. Like maybe they just both _thought_ it was Liam who started it. Because maybe, just maybe, he'd wanted it so much and if the kid was the one asking for it, if he begged for it loud and clear then Noel wouldn't be the bad guy. His stomach clenches and his balls seize. Because he knows full well he is, even if Liam did beg.

In twenty years Liam never said no. He never even thought it was a possibility, he thinks. And maybe that was Noel's doing, right? Would he have stopped if Liam had asked him to? Especially those first few times? He tells himself _'yes, of course!'_ , and his dick throbs in his hand while he pretends that Liam saying "stop" or "that hurts" wouldn't have just spurred him forward.

He's getting pretty close now, and he's thinking of his older Liam, glassy eyed, on his back, impassively taking his cock like always, his dick not even hard as he searches Noel's face for something (anything) resembling acknowledgement or kindness after he's thrown the third or so _'I'm outta time, Noel'_ to introduce his final plea for Noel to stay, getting nothing in return. 

By the time they were over, Liam even tried saying _no_ in case that would make him stay. But by then, Noel was already convinced leaving him would be a kindness. (It's what he tells himself, as he pictures Liam covered in his cum, waiting as it dries on his face, not looking at Noel as he walks out of the hotel room). 

He comes with a grunt indistinguishable from the sound he makes when he clears his throat. It's the only noise he makes when he does this.

He cleans his hand and crotch with toilet paper, washes his hands, and goes back to bed.

Sara continues sleeping peacefully.

They have brunch with friends in the morning.

For almost 23 hours, he is convinced he doesn't think about Liam.

**Author's Note:**

> The "I'm Outta Time" live acoustic performance referenced is [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dg2XzdUmGDE)
> 
> A version of this that was posted like 12 years ago and has been gone from the interwebs for years included the introduction, during which Liam very, very clearly said "It's called "I'm Outta Time, Noel"", I have found someone who has the full interview with the performance on DVD. I will engage in negotiations and try to get it posted for those of you who maybe never have had the chance to hear it. Cos that thing still stabs me in the gut. 
> 
> Cheers :)


End file.
